D a v i d a r i . c o m   

   I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. - Mitch Hedberg
About Me




Back in 1979 I was born.  I grew up in a bedroom that was painted yellow.  From what I remember, the walls were shiny.  I had a rock that was the shape of a dinosaur egg.  I don't remember what happened to it.  A few years later we moved a couple miles away.  My room was painted white.  But then, I have to ask myself, was it really painted white, or was that how it came?  Why are rooms always white when you buy a new house?  If I was a builder I would paint each room a different color.  If the buyer didn't like it, I would pretend I didn't speak English.  Life in the new house was lonely and empty without my rock.   I did have two windows though. 

The effects of the dreaded tetanus shot
The doctor told me that I was due for a shot.  He told me it would hurt.  It didn't.  That was until a few hours later when I couldn't feel my left arm.  Now I know why that nurse had me sign my life away on that paper before she stuck me.  I guess if I ever miss getting punched by my brother, I can always stop by the doctor's and ask for a tetanus shot.  Its been over thirty hours and it still feels like I was just punched. 

  • Who do you think invented bullet points
  • My elementary school teachers called them hamburger dots
  • There is no point to this point
  • I wish I could grow dread locks

The dream I had
It has been a long time since I have remembered my dreams, but I did remember one from the other night.  It was weird, but then again, so am I.  I guess dreams really do reflect the person that is having them.  Do you want to shoot yourself yet?  See, that's the thing with dreams.  I just forgot it.  Damnit!

  • If only the jazz band could play a little louder.
  • The servers won't shut up
  • Is it that time already?
  • Do you prefer bullet points over hash marks?

So I have been meaning to tell you all something.  I came to this realization a couple weeks back.  I am a genius.  It might be self proclaimed, but I wholeheartedly agree with myself.  I was reminiscing about my Bar Mitzvah (10 years ago) and then correlated it with a couple lines from the movie Meet the Parents.  When I was at Fleets purchasing my clothes for my Bar Mitzvah I was set on getting a green jacket.  Everyone wanted me to get the Navy jacket.  They didn't realize that I was a genius and that I wanted that to reflect through the color of my jacket.

Here's the proof that I am a genius:

Jack: That's an interesting color, did you pick it?
Greg: No, the guy at the counter did, why?
Jack: Well they say that genius' pick the color green.
Greg: Oh.
Jack: But, you didn't pick it.

Facts That You Just Could Not Possibly Know

Here's a fact you probably don't know. Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder are both androids. They were created through a joint venture by IBM and NASA. Not many people know this.  Actually, I think I might be the only one that knows the truth.  I am trying to spread the word.  You should too.  Tell your mom to go to www.davidari.com.

You probably didn't know this one either:  Brendan Fraser is a digitally animated character. You may think that when you see him in all those movies he is actually a real actor. Well, you are wrong.  But who can forget Urine Trouble Man and Chess Piece Face.

Old Stuff

Ok.  Fine.  I will be more politically correct from now on.  You happy.  I hope so.  I did it for you.

Due to the bags and bags of fan mail I received regarding how great my website was, I have decided to grace everyone with some new crap to read to help pass your days. 

The Monkey on My Desk

There's a monkey on my desk.  He stares at me blankly for about 10 hours every day.  Always raising the roof.  I bet you that if he could talk he would want some bullet points thrown into this page.  This is for you Mr. Monkey.

  • Downloading can save you thousands of dollars each year
  • I've got two fans in my office and no one cheering for me
  • Why do people think that just because I drive a Mustang I know about them
  • Stay tuned for more useless stuff when I get around to it.
  • Coming Soon --  hulnick.com  !!!! 

Well, it seems the page has come to an end. Wisi e nim admin im veniam, quis nostrud. In atsvulpate velt esse meleste at Check out Axe. semper manet sola. Ut lacreet dolore magna aliquam sic semper fi tyrannis erat volutpat. Wisi enim ad minim veniam. Fantasy Football. Dolore eu sata sfeugiat. Ipsum lorem vei illum sat dolor euis mod tincidunt vei auminiure dolor in esse. Schaad... how come you don't like my bulky images. Whats up with that. Ultaceet dolore magna si napi. Kevin has too much time on his hands. XXX Wisi e nim ad minim veniam, quis nos In a tsvulpate BBYO velt esse Fantasy NBA meleste at semper manet sola. UT lacreet dolore magna aliquam sic semp fi tyrannis erat volutpat. Wisi enim Brian and Mr. T ad minim veniam. Dolore My Cathy eu sata sfeugiat.

So.  We haven't really changed things in a long while on this site.  Who has the time to do such things anyway?  I'm a busy guy.




Are you tired of listening to that same old music.  Why not try something new, something exciting... check out the new Hasidic Reggae sensation!  Matisyahu!


Support This Site

LANNIE: Our phones aren't working and I need to call people and tell them tomorrow night is cancelled
DAVID: Tomorrow night is not canceled. There will still be a Saturday night; however your program for Saturday night might be canceled
DAVID: You can't just cancel a night, only the president can do that
LANNIE: You are a weirdo
DAVID: Whatever
LANNIE: Scott and I are laughing at you


It's samba time for tambo.

There's only two songs in me, and I just wrote the third. My apartment looks upside down from there. Stand on your own head, for a change. Memo to Myself: I was born in a lighthouse. I hope that I get old before I die. Alienation is for the rich. When you are alone you are the cat, you're the throne, you're an animal. I hear the wind blow. It seems to say hello hello.
I saw this written on a bridge: I found a new friend underneath my pillow. When I walk I think about a new way to walk. Please pass the milk please. Your head is on the moon. What's that blue thing doing here. I never went to the tropical island. I heard a sound. I turned around. I turned around to find the thing that made the sound. Simultaneous events don't happen. Urine man. Samba day for Tambo. We are isolated temporally. And the part is never called the whole thing. I met the consulate from Belgium. Urine trouble man. I could never sleep my way to the top. I struck a bargain with my radio DJ. The sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace. There, hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of million degrees. I said I'd like this song to be #1. The sun is hot the sun is not a place where we should go. And I'm not done and I won't be till my head falls off. (Kaplan. Maybe we have too much time on our hands.)

You know you want to do it!  Pop Pop.  Pop Pop Pop.